When married couples mark another year together, whether it’s their first or 30th, it’s a huge milestone in their relationship—that’s why many spouses commemorate their anniversary with a special celebration, whether it’s a dinner date or a weekend trip. This was the expectation for one woman, who, according to her Reddit post on September 19, 2024, appears to believe that recognizing a wedding anniversary is a reflection of one’s attitude toward the marriage—but her husband of eight years doesn’t seem to be on the same page. So, when he forgot their anniversary for the third year in a row, she threatened divorce.
Throughout their eight years of marriage, the woman said there have been “ups and downs,” but recently, she feels as if their relationship has faltered. “Lately, it feels like he’s stopped putting effort into the little things that matter to me,” the woman admitted. Case in point? He’s forgotten their anniversary three times now—which is a date that has significance to her.
When her husband first forgot their anniversary, the woman gave him the benefit of the doubt, attributing his slip-up to a busy work schedule. The following year, she made sure to remind her husband about their anniversary weeks in advance, but he still managed to forget. “On the actual day, he didn’t even mention it,” the woman said in disbelief. “We had a big argument, and he promised he would make it up to me.”
But, when their eighth wedding anniversary rolled around, he let her down again. “This year, I waited, hoping things would be different,” the Redditor wrote. “But once again, the day came and went without a word from him. No card, no flowers, not even a simple ‘Happy Anniversary.’”
Since his wife was upset and disappointed, she decided to communicate her point of view—but her husband dismissed her concerns. “He acted like it wasn’t a big deal and said, ‘It’s just a date, why does it matter so much?’” she recalled of his response.
She saw his disregard for their anniversary as a disregard for their marriage. “That was the last straw for me,” she admitted. “I feel like he doesn’t care about our marriage anymore, and if he can’t be bothered to remember something as important as our anniversary, what does that say about his commitment to us?” So, she threatened to divorce him, which caused her husband to accuse her of “overreacting and being petty,” per her post.
After asking the internet for advice, the overwhelming majority validated her viewpoint. Many argued that her husband’s lack of effort in something she cares about is telling of where their relationship falls on his list of priorities. “This is not about a date,” one Redditor said. “This is about him, putting an effort into the things that matter to you. He has a world of technology at his fingertips that he could use to help him remember the date. He chooses not to put the effort into remembering.” Another commented, “I get it’s just a date to him but you already made it clear that it’s important to you. That kind of tells me that he doesn’t care about things you think are important.”
Even those who don’t usually make a big deal about dates, like birthdays or anniversaries, chimed in, saying that if their partner cared, they would, too. “If I had done something TWICE that hurt my partner’s feelings, I would have made an effort to avoid a third problem,” someone mentioned. “It’s not that difficult to set reminders in one’s phone.”