The Master of Suspense would be bitterly disappointed.
There are a handful of directors with styles so distinctive that their names become adjectives: Lynchian, Kubrickian, Tarantinoesque. The most famous of them is Hitchcockian, and for good reason. Alfred Hitchcock was a true pioneer, helping to establish the modern mystery film. The phrase refers to movies with ample plot twists, MacGuffins, mistaken identity, and innocent characters accused of wrongdoing, to list just a few of the key characteristics.
Hitchcock was incredibly successful, so it’s no surprise that he had scores of imitators. Many directors have drawn from his work to make really good movies. Brian De Palma‘s Dressed to Kill, Joel Schumacher‘s Phone Booth, and Martin Scorsese‘s Cape Fear come to mind. However, for every successful film inspired by the Master of Suspense, there are many duds that simply rip off his style poorly. These are the worst Hitchcockian thrillers that try and fail miserably to replicate the late director’s style, from The Tourist to The Truth About Charlie.
10 ‘The Tourist’ (2010)
Directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
“Why is everyone trying to kill me?” Johnny Depp leads this romantic thriller as Frank Tupelo, an American tourist who finds himself entangled in a dangerous game of espionage. While on vacation in Venice, he encounters the enigmatic Elise Clifton-Ward (Angelina Jolie), who leads the police to believe that Frank is actually a fugitive named Alexander Pearce. As both cops and mobsters bear down on them, chemistry sparks between Frank and Elise.
The film performed decently at the box office, mainly due to the two leads’ star power, and Angelina Jolie tried her best to keep it afloat; alas, it wasn’t enough. Indeed, the story succumbs to the weight of its convoluted plot, and the tone is muddled. The Tourist is at its best when being light and humorous, but it quickly becomes overly self-serious, which is a shame because the film had potential. It represented the team-up of many talented individuals, like The Lives of Others director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, Gosford Park writer Julian Fellowes, and Mission: Impossible‘s Christopher McQuarrie.
The Tourist
- Release Date
- December 8, 2010
- Cast
- Johnny Depp , Angelina Jolie , Rufus Sewell , Clément Sibony , Timothy Dalton , Julien Baumgartner
- Runtime
- 103
- Writers
- Julian Fellowes , Christopher McQuarrie , Jeffrey Nachmanoff , William Wheeler
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9 ‘The Woman in the Window’ (2021)
Directed by Joe Wright
“You don’t think it’s paranoid if I wanna change the locks, do you?” Dr. Anna Fox (Amy Adams) is an agoraphobic child psychologist who spends her days observing the world from the confines of her New York City brownstone. When she witnesses a disturbing act of violence in the home across the street, Anna becomes embroiled in a web of secrets and lies.
Once again, this is a movie that could have been great. Joe Wright (Atonement, Darkest Hour) is a skilled director who knows how to shoot a scene, and cinematographer Bruno Delbonnel makes every frame gorgeous. Then there’s the ensemble cast, led by the mighty Amy Adams. However, the script is thoroughly mediocre, with plot twists that feel forced. The ending, in particular, borders on the absurd and is a major letdown, given all the buildup. The cast and crew were clearly aiming for Rear Window meets Gone Girl, but the result is a bland mystery unworthy of its star or director.
The Woman in the Window
- Release Date
- May 14, 2021
- Cast
- Amy Adams , Gary Oldman , Julianne Moore , Anthony Mackie , Wyatt Russell , Brian Tyree Henry
- Runtime
- 101
- Writers
- A.J. Finn , Tracy Letts
8 ‘Final Analysis’ (1992)
Directed by Phil Joanou
“Maybe your father deserved to die!” The late ’80s and early ’90s were the heyday of the erotic thriller, producing several classics alongside uncountable duds. Final Analysis is a forgettable entry in the subgenre despite an impressive cast. Richard Gere plays a psychiatrist who treats a troubled woman named Diana (Uma Thurman). Soon, he meets her sister Heather (Kim Basinger) and is drawn into a seductive game of manipulation and obsession seemingly orchestrated by Heather’s husband (Eric Roberts).
Rather than exploring this rich psychological territory, Final Analysis tries to shock the viewer with unexpected plot developments. Some of them are quite intense, but fans have seen them before in superior films. This all culminates in a cookie-cutter ending that smacks of studio interference. Plus, neither Gere nor Basinger is particularly nuanced or believable here, coming across like actors in a role rather than real people, which is fatal to the suspension of disbelief.
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7 ‘The Black Dahlia’ (2005)
Directed by Brian De Palma
“I’ve been pointing my gun at a lot of people this week.” Brian De Palma is the true heir to Hitchcock. He’s made many fantastic, devilish mysteries, like Sisters and Blow Out, but The Black Dahlia is not one of them. This noir thriller follows detectives Bucky Bleichert (Josh Hartnett) and Lee Blanchard (Aaron Eckhart) as they look into the murder of aspiring actress Elizabeth Short (Mia Kirshner), also known as the Black Dahlia. Scarlett Johnson joins the pair as Lee’s girlfriend, Kay Lake.
Many hoped The Black Dahlia would be a return to form for De Palma following Mission to Mars and Femme Fatale. Alas, aside from some stellar cinematography, the whole affair is decidedly lackluster. Hartnett is miscast, Hilary Swank needed more screen time, and a few campy moments feel utterly out of place. The story starts well enough but runs out of steam, resulting in an ending that comes off as rushed and under-cooked.
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6 ‘Do You Like Hitchcock?’ (2005)
Directed by Dario Argento
“I thought they were doing Strangers on a Train, but they’re doing Dial M for Murder!” This film by the master of giallo, Dario Argento, pays homage to Hitchock’s entire filmography. It focuses on Giulio (Elio Germano), a film student who becomes obsessed with Hitchcock’s work after witnessing a murder in his apartment complex. Convinced that the killing mirrors scenes from Hitchcock’s films, Giulio embarks on a perilous investigation to uncover the truth.
Do You Like Hitchcock? is chock-full of references to the Master of Suspense’s work, meaning it will have some appeal to Hitchcock fans hoping to spot them all. But this gimmick wears thin after a while and doesn’t compensate for story problems and underwritten characters. Plus, while the film does bear flashes of Argento’s signature flair, its lack of gore and mayhem make it a relatively tepid entry in his filmography. Far better to just rewatch The Bird With the Crystal Plumage.
5 ‘Lifepod’ (1993)
Directed by Ron Silver
“What would you feel if you had to chop off your arm and replace it just so you could earn an extra fifty credits a day?” Lifepod is a sci-fi reworking of Hitchcock’s 1944 film Lifeboat. The original took place on a boat during World War II; this one is set on a space vessel in 2169 AD. After a catastrophic crash, a diverse array of characters, each with their own secrets and motivations, finds shelter in the emergency lifepod.
Lifepod is a made-for-TV movie, which explains the lackluster production values. Nevertheless, the sets and effects are not too shabby for an early ’90s space story. Where Lifepod stumbles is with the characters, who are not nearly as layered or as intriguing as they are in Hitchcock’s original. Lifeboat didn’t need gimmicks or effects to be engaging, using dialogue and a single, ordinary location to cast its spell. In other words, Lifepod misunderstands the appeal of its source material.
4 ‘House at the End of the Street’ (2012)
Directed by Mark Tonderai
“People don’t notice all the secrets around them.” House at the End of the Street centers on Elissa Cassidy (Jennifer Lawrence) and her mother, Sarah (Elisabeth Shue), who move to a new town in search of a fresh start. They soon discover that their seemingly idyllic neighborhood harbors a chilling secret: the house next door was the site of a gruesome double murder years earlier, and the killer is not done yet.
House at the End of the Street epitomizes the worst aspects of derivative horror, where every original element feels mundane and predictable compared to its inspirations. Even the title sounds like a bad ripoff of Last House on the Left. For instance, some scenes try to emulate Psycho in a painfully clumsy fashion, and the limits of its PG-13 rating don’t help. The film was eviscerated by critics, but clearly, the studio knew what it was doing: it grossed a solid $44m against a $10m budget.
House at the End of the Street
- Release Date
- September 21, 2012
- Cast
- Jennifer Lawrence , Max Thieriot , Elisabeth Shue , Gil Bellows , Eva Link , Nolan Gerard Funk
- Runtime
- 101
- Writers
- David Loucka , Jonathan Mostow
3 ‘Last Moment of Clarity’ (2020)
Directed by James and Colin Krisel
“The ones we lose are never really gone.” Sam (Zach Avery) is a man haunted by the brutal murder of his fiancée, Georgia (Samara Weaving). He flees to Paris to escape his past, only to catch a glimpse of a woman who bears a striking resemblance to Georgia. Convinced that she is alive, Sam sets out to find her.
Fundamentally, Last Moment of Clarity is a B-movie version of Rear Window and Vertigo, with watered-down traces of Don’t Look Now. There are several shots here that are almost laughably clichéd, like the classic image of a wall of clues connected by red thread. More problematic is the fact that the characters frequently act without logic, and scenes repeatedly veer into melodrama. Arguably, the more soap opera-ish scenes actually work better than the thriller sequences. Terrific supporting actors like Brian Cox and Udo Kier appear, but they’re not in top form.
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2 ‘Open Windows’ (2014)
Directed by Nacho Vigalondo
“I’d like to disappear.” Elijah Wood stars as Nick Chambers, a fervent fan who wins a contest to meet his favorite actress, Jill Goddard (Sasha Grey). However, his excitement quickly turns into a nightmare when he finds himself manipulated by a mysterious hacker named Chord (Neil Maskell). Chord grants Nick access to Jill’s life through her webcam, turning his admiration into an unsettling exercise in voyeurism that gets increasingly dark.
Open Windows invokes the voyeurism of Rear Window but without the sophistication or depth. Where Hitchcock holds back, director Nacho Vigalondo goes all in, but somehow with less impact. There’s some decent use of found footage, which hits on ideas that could’ve been explored more deeply. Wood and Grey also do a surprisingly good job with the middling script, and the casting of Grey has an interesting meta aspect, given her background in adult film. Still, the moments of interest are not sustained and do not justify a viewing.
Open Windows
- Release Date
- July 4, 2014
- Cast
- Elijah Wood , Sasha Grey , Neil Maskell , Iván González , Brian Elder , Trevante Rhodes
- Runtime
- 100
- Writers
- Nacho Vigalondo
1 ‘The Truth About Charlie’ (2002)
Directed by Jonathan Demme
“We want that money back, Mrs. Lambert.” The Truth About Charlie is The Silence of the Lambs director Jonathan Demme‘s remake of Stanley Donen‘s Charade, known as “the best Hitchcock movie never made.” It’s fitting, then, that his version is arguably the worst. The story revolves around Regina Lambert (Thandie Newton), who returns to Paris after a holiday to discover that her husband has been murdered. As she tries to unravel the truth behind his death, she crosses paths with a charming stranger named Joshua Peters (Mark Wahlberg), who appears to know more than he lets on.
Remaking a classic is always a daunting feat, but The Truth About Charlie is especially disappointing. Demme is usually great at both suspense and comedy, but here, both elements misfire. Perhaps it’s because of the unorthodox approach he takes to the original movie, incorporating techniques reminiscent of the French New Wave. The Truth About Charlie feels hollow, lacking the spirit and fun that makes Charade so watchable.
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This article was originally published on collider.com