Rachel Lindsay has new dating standards since splitting from Bryan Abasolo.
“I’m very open to dating. It’s weird because I am months out from the separation — we are past it. Now I’m in a place where I don’t necessarily want to get into the details of it, but I want to talk about the healing process, because it’s very real,” Lindsay, 39, shared on the Wednesday, July 3, episode of Scott Evans‘ YouTube series. “And I’m in this weird space where I am still in my 30s, I am divorcing and I don’t have kids. [But] I want kids and I want to date.”
Despite hearing how “hard” it can be to date new people, Lindsay is excited for the future.
“I’m ready. My dating life right now is for fun. I would have to be swept off my feet to really be like, ‘Oh, he’s The One.’ I’m trying to have fun and have a roster,” she joked before noting that 45 to 55 is her current age range, although there are “exceptions to the rule.”
Lindsay isn’t focused on “physical” attributions as much anymore, adding, “I do want you to be loyal, have a personality, adventurous, charming and maybe even a little corny. … I want them to be ambitious but also very understanding.”
Along with learning new things about her taste in men post-split, Lindsay has gotten a professional’s perspective. “My therapist said I have broken wing syndrome,” she said on Wednesday. “I date guys that I see potential in. I see [that] they are a good person, but maybe they need a little guidance or a little help. Rather than dating the person who is already there.”
The former reality star clarified that she doesn’t need to be with someone “who has more money” than her.
“That just means someone who is stable and secure,” she noted. “I can no longer date for potential. I have to date somebody who knows who they are, knows what they want, is secure in who they are and are not intimidated.”
Bachelor fans saw Lindsay’s search for love during season 13 of The Bachelorette in 2017. She accepted a proposal from Abasolo, 44, during the season finale, and the pair exchanged vows two years later.
Us confirmed in January that Abasolo filed for divorce, and the pair have since found themselves in a messy legal back and forth over finances. Lindsay requested in paperwork filed late last month that the court order $9,882 monthly in spousal support to her ex. Abasolo, meanwhile, reportedly asked that Lindsay pay him $16,275 monthly, according to docs obtained by TMZ.
Before calling it quits, Lindsay and Abasolo were honest about the challenges that came with having a bicoastal marriage.
“What people don’t realize is we were pretty much long-distance before [we got married] with all the traveling that I was doing pre-COVID. I didn’t actually have a place somewhere else, but I was never at home because I was always traveling,” Lindsay exclusively told Us Weekly in 2020. “And so for us, you know, we know how to work this out and navigate it, and obviously we have an end goal in mind. This is not a forever situation.”
Lindsay later admitted she wasn’t thrilled about outside commentary regarding her relationship, writing via Instagram in 2022, “In a reality television world that is designed for your relationship to fail, we survived and came out on top. So quite naturally, the audience wants to know what we are doing, if we are okay, and what is next for our future. They want the love story to still play out for their public perception. But our contractual public story ended on August 7, 2017. At that point, we decided that we wanted to control the future of our relationship.”
She continued: “Up until that point, the confines of our relationship were determined for us. Now we were free, and we jointly decided to pull away from the public eye to build a strong, solid foundation. And we successfully did that. So, it is interesting to me that people want to define the success and happiness of our relationship by the number of social media posts, comments, likes and stories we post.”
Shortly after their split, Abasolo defended Lindsay from assumptions that she was to blame because of their long-distance marriage.
“To be fair, we’ve been living together for almost 3 years here in LA. Not sure why people think we’ve been apart this entire time,” he wrote via Instagram at the time. “Yes, her career came first, but there were opportunities for her that were smart for her to take which could have not been offered later. It’s hard as it is for women of color to get big gigs which I’ve observed through watching Rachel’s efforts.”
Abasolo concluded: “It’s not just women who should be expected to sacrifice, but a man can do it too. Her building her future was not the problem. I would encourage anyone to pursue their dreams and hope they have a healthy support system to do so.”