Billie Lourd is remembering mom Carrie Fisher on what would have been her 68th birthday in a moving tribute that also calls attention to the struggles of addiction.
On Oct. 21, Lourd, who , shared a message about battling grief on .
Beside a throwback photo of her sitting beside the late actor as she blew out candles on a birthday cake, the 32-year-old wrote, “My mom would’ve been 68 today. Dead person birthdays are weird to say the least. On my mom’s birthday every year, I try to celebrate her as much as possible, but today I really wanted to celebrate her with her.”
She explained that her grief changes, causing her to feel different emotions on her mom’s birthday over the past seven years.
“Some years my grief makes me feel the warmth of her love, some years it makes me angry, some years I feel numb but today when I woke up I just felt sad. I didn’t want to celebrate, I just wanted my mom,” she continued.
Fisher . She had suffered a heart attack during a flight from London to Los Angeles and died a few days after the medical emergency.
Lourd said in her post that she recently decided to research the life expectancy for women. The answer is 80.2 years, according to the .
“My mom died when she was 60. 60 is too damn young to die,” she wrote.
Lourd shared that she then looked up the reported number of deaths per year due to drug overdose. That number is around 100,000, the .
In June 2017, the Los Angeles County coroner’s office released a report, at the time, that confirmed Fisher had multiple substances in her system when she died, including cocaine and heroin.
Speaking about her mom’s struggles with addiction, Lourd continued in her tribute, “I did everything in my power to help my mom get sober but sadly my mom couldn’t ever escape her addiction. But while she was alive she always shared the ups and downs of that struggle with others in hopes it would help them escape their own addiction.”
Lourd said that it is important for addicts and those who have been affected by the devastation of addiction to be honest about their issues. She ended her post with a positive message to anyone who can relate to her loss.
“Sending my love to anyone out there who has lost someone to drug addiction. You are not alone,” she concluded and added a red heart.
On her Instagram story, Lourd re-shared photos and drawings of her and her mom that fans had uploaded to celebrate Fisher’s birthday. She also posted a selfie of her wearing a Princess Leia T-shirt. She added a red heart over the picture.
In the comments beneath her tribute, fans and friends left supportive messages.
“She was a beautiful person & so are you…thank you for sharing her with us,” one fan said.
Another wrote, “The best way through is to share. Your mom would be bursting with pride.”
“Ticket to Paradise” co-star Kaitlyn Dever wrote, “I love u I love you.”
Mindy Kaling simply left a red heart in the comments.
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