Since a wedding is a huge milestone in someone’s life, a couple usually expects their closest friends and family members to attend, support, and celebrate them. So, when one bride’s sister declined her wedding invitation since the event would interfere with her sleep schedule, it’s no wonder why the bride was upset with and disappointed in her sister (and is no longer speaking to her)—a story that sparked a heated conversation on Reddit’s subreddit “Am I the A——?”
The woman, who identified herself as a 26-year-old female, explained that she’s struggled with sleep for years, often going to bed at 6 or 7 a.m. and waking up at 1 or 2 p.m. “I’ve tried to change my sleep style, and I just can’t,” she added. “It’s like dealing with international jet lag.” The Reddit user shared that her sister, whom she called Hanna, planned her wedding during the window the poster is usually asleep. According to the post, the brunch starts at 10 a.m. before a ceremony at noon and a party later in the afternoon.
After seeing the timeline, the bride’s sister asked the woman of the hour to accommodate her sleep schedule. “I asked Hanna if I could just come to the afternoon party (since I will be sleeping at 10 a.m.), and she got furious and started yelling over the phone about how since I’m her sister, I need to be there for the ceremony,” the Reddit user wrote. The poster was frustrated that Hanna wasn’t able to understand where she was coming from. “I laughed and told her there was no way I could be there on time because it would basically be like trying to get someone on a 9-5 to attend an event at 2 a.m.,” she cited as a comparison.
The Reddit user acknowledged that laughing was probably an inappropriate response, but she wished Hanna could have taken her struggles with sleep into account when planning the itinerary. “If she wanted me to be there for the whole thing, she needed to plan for a time when I could actually attend,” she said. The sister concluded her story by mentioning that her mom is also upset with her for not attending her sister’s big day. She then asked other Reddit users whether she was the a—— because based on her perspective, she thinks her sister owes her an apology.
The subreddit generated nearly 1,000 heated comments, with the consensus being that the Reddit user should put her own needs and interests aside to show up for her sister. “YTA for expecting events to be planned around you, for LAUGHING, and for not caring enough about her wedding to consider talking to a doctor for help,” the most-liked comment said, concluding she was the a——. Many others told the woman that sacrificing just one day of sleep for a family member’s wedding won’t be the end of the world—even if she feels tired. “YTA, I have delayed circadian rhythm, and it can suck, but I don’t expect people to plan their weddings in the afternoon, so I don’t have to wake up early for one day,” someone shared.
After taking the comments into account, the poster added an update, realizing that she was the one at fault and will apologize to her sister. In another update, she told those following along that she had a productive conversation with her mom. “I think she understands a little better now where I was coming from and is going to help me find a sleep specialist to go to,” the poster said. To handle the dilemma with her sister, the Reddit user apologized to Hanna via text, but she hadn’t received a response at the time. “I don’t know if she will forgive me, but I do feel better now that I am trying,” she said.